Book Review: “Kim Jiyoung Born 1982”
Revealing a journey that seems “ordinary” according to most people who have experienced the same thing, this book has brought me tons of priceless meanings. The movie was out in 2019, but I haven’t watched it yet. And I’m used to reading the book first before watching the film adaptation. Therefore, I decided to give this book a go a week ago. This book is interestingly divided into periods of Kim Jiyoung’s life story, from her childhood to the present, when she is married and has children. The story happened after explaining that in the present moment, Kim Jiyoung experienced dissociative episodes where she could speak and act like several women she knew, her mother or even a woman who died in childbirth.
Kim Jiyoung was born in 1982; she was the second daughter of 3 siblings. She has an older sister and a younger brother. Due to some traditional beliefs, Kim Jiyoung’s grandmother suggested to her Eomma (Mother) not to stop trying to have children until they get a boy. And after a long struggle, Jiyoung’s younger brother was born with a special stamp of pride. This can be seen from the treatment of her grandmother and her Eomma towards her younger brother; how the two daughters are responsible in the house, such as preparing meals, washing dishes, etc. Starting from that period, Kim Jiyoung faced various questions that popped up in her head, does this world work like this for all girls and boys?
Jiyoung’s time at school was also marked by how girls at her school often experienced pranks that male students carried out. Like being ridiculed, made fun of, and even to other physical things. Unsurprisingly, the teachers at the school only considered men who did such acts as a matter of course.
“Boys are like that,” the teacher laughed. “They’re meaner to the girls they like.”
The teacher’s statements did not satisfy Jiyoung. It rather raises the question in her head, how is that make sense? “If you like someone, you’re friendlier and nicer to them. To friends, to family, to your pet dogs and cats”
Jiyoung’s teenage years were also marked when she started menstruating. Her sister described it in her statement, “Ugh, your happy days are over”. The tradition of the first menstruation is different in every family. But like most families, Jiyoung’s family chose not to share it in the family.
The mother avoided referring to it directly, as if something that should not be said out loud had happened, as she offered her ramen soup.
Regarding menstruation, Jiyoung also had questions about the cramps she had to go through every month. All the questions marked her head when she realized there is no truly specific cure for menstrual cramps, even when that half of the world’s population suffers from this pain every month.
“You’re right. In a world where doctors can cure cancer and do heart transplants, there isn’t a single pill to treat menstrual cramps.” Her sister pointed at her own stomach. “The world wants our uterus to be drug-free. Like sacred grounds in a virgin forest.”
Stigma, stereotypes, and questions that follow in her head remain present in every stage of Jiyoung’s life. In her grown-up days, college years, and job-hunting nights, she finally worked in a place that fully supported her skills and abilities. Troubles started when Jiyoung finally got married. Stereotypes on how women should act when married become a reality that Jiyoung often faces in her new everyday life. Especially when parents on both sides were waiting for “the good news” — expecting Jiyoung to have her own babies, both sides’ families often expressed concern about Jiyoung’s fertility. They also blamed Daehyun, Jiyoung’s husband, because he didn’t feed Jiyoung’s fertility well.
And until the end of the day, Jiyoung’s husband finally said it, the statement which brought Jiyoung so many question marks and anger in her head, “There is one way to stop my parents’ nagging for good. Let’s just have a kid. If we’re going to have one eventually anyway, why not avoid the lectures by just having one?”
That was what complicated Jiyoung’s mind the most. How can her husband suggest it as blithe and casual as a mere trying a new food recommendation?
And this also brought Jiyoung to various considerations that she had to consider at length. When she finally decided to have children, that’s when she, a mother, had to be willing to sacrifice for the many things she had. Work, routine, and maybe even herself. At that time, her husband also said, don’t just think about what is given up, but what you can get when you become a parent.
And at that very moment, Jiyoung asked her husband? “And what will you be giving up?”
Jiyoung had a lot of challenges ahead of her, especially when she finally got pregnant. After long deliberation, she finally stopped working. After half a semester of her pregnancy, she experienced many difficulties. Including keeping her daily life the same as before she carried a soul in her belly. Even when she had to deal with insults from people when she was already heavily pregnant and still took public transportation, “About to pop and still taking the tube to go make money–clearly can’t afford a kid.”
Jiyoung continued to experience challenges when she was at home when her child was born. She divided her time for household chores; at the same time, she can’t spend her money to pay for a stay-at-home assistant because their current income only comes from her husband. Also, many stereotypes normalize that women must be ready to lose their jobs when they become mothers, ready to face domestic work at home. This book also raises the problem of domestic work that exists around the world. How people are reluctant to equate the difficulties experienced and felt when people do domestic work compared to other formal jobs.
Since she became a full-time housewife, she often noticed that there was a polarized attitude regarding domestic labor. Some demeaned it as “bumming around at home”, while others glorified it as “work that sustains life,” but none tried to calculate its monetary value. Probably because the moment you put a price on something, someone has to pay.
In the end, Kim Ji Young was diagnosed by her psychiatrist as having postpartum depression disorder and childcare depression disorder. As Jiyoung later experienced several strange behaviors, according to her husband, her psychiatrist said, “Jiyoung became different people from time to time. Some of them were living, others were dead, all of them women she knew. No matter how you looked at it, it wasn’t a joke or prank. Truly, flawlessly, completely, she became that person.”
This book deliberately does not answer all the questions and problems experienced by an ordinary woman born in 1982 named, Kim Jiyoung. A woman with everyday life is almost the same as many other women in the world. Kim Jiyoung’s life in this book strengthens my criticism by connecting Elias and Rai’s thoughts (2019) on Feminist Everyday Political Economy. It goes without saying that feminist International Political Economy is concerned in one way or another with the every day — conceptualized as both a site of political struggle and a site within which social relations are (re)produced and governed. How women’s otherness, as marginal people, occurs in their daily life. Starting from the space they occupy, the time they live, to the various forms of violence they face.
This book opens a wider space for everyone to see up to the smallest portion of women’s oppression. Things that seem meaningless, invisible, negligible, become the source of something that gives more women experience these things.
Source:
Nam-Joo, Choi (2016). Kim Jiyoung Born 1984. Korea: Minumsa Publishing Co., Ltd, in association with The Grayhawk Agency Ltd. (English Copyright: Jamie Chang)
Elias, Juanita and Rai, Shirin (2019) Feminist everyday political economy : space, time and violence. Review of International Studies, 45 (2). pp. 201–220. doi:10.1017/S0260210518000323
